Review: Magonia (Magonia #1) by Maria Dahvana Headley

ec61b-magoniaBook Title: Magonia
Author: Maria Dahvana Headley
Published Date:  April 28th, 2015
Publisher: Harper
Genre: YA Science Fiction
Series: Book one of Magonia duology
Book Link: Goodreads
Purchase Links: AmazonBarnes & NobleThe Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads
Aza Ray is drowning in thin air.

Since she was a baby, Aza has suffered from a mysterious lung disease that makes it ever harder for her to breathe, to speak—to live.

So when Aza catches a glimpse of a ship in the sky, her family chalks it up to a cruel side effect of her medication. But Aza doesn’t think this is a hallucination. She can hear someone on the ship calling her name.

Only her best friend, Jason, listens. Jason, who’s always been there. Jason, for whom she might have more-than-friendly feelings. But before Aza can consider that thrilling idea, something goes terribly wrong. Aza is lost to our world—and found, by another. Magonia.

Above the clouds, in a land of trading ships, Aza is not the weak and dying thing she was. In Magonia, she can breathe for the first time. Better, she has immense power—and as she navigates her new life, she discovers that war is coming. Magonia and Earth are on the cusp of a reckoning. And in Aza’s hands lies the fate of the whole of humanity—including the boy who loves her. Where do her loyalties lie?

Disclaimer: I received this book from Harper via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

This book was supposed to be weird, awesome and captivating. I love weird books, so I was excited to read this one. I’m a sucker for “sick lit” and throw in some sci-fi elements in there and I’m usually THRILLED with the result.

Unfortunately, my enjoyment of this book was short lived. It was super interesting initially and I looooved Aza Ray’s voice. As someone who spent a LOT of time in hospitals as a little girl, I could relate to what she was saying about hospital life. Aza Ray was wonderfully sarcastic and I loved that about her.

Things went downhill quickly when we meet the half-bird creatures. I love weird, but this was just too weird even for me. I became less invested as I kept reading. My enjoyment of Aza Ray even disappeared once she got on this weird cloud ship thing.

I enjoyed the writing all the way through. It was probably the only thing that kept me reading until the end. The characters were supposed to be interesting (I mean hello, bird people!) but the characters ranged from mildly annoying to insanely aggravating. But I kept reading the book.

It showed so much promise at the beginning, that I couldn’t help but finish it. I was holding out hope that things would improve, but they didn’t. Unfortunately, I have to give this book 2 stars. I will not be reading the sequel. I am so disappointed with this book, but that’s okay. I don’t have to like this book. I wanted to, but I don’t and that’s okay.

Review: The Remedy (The Program #0.5) by Suzanne Young

Book Title: The Remedy
Author: Suzanne Young
Published Date: April 21st, 2015
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Genre: YA/Dystopian
Series: Prequel from The Program duology
Book Link: Goodreads
Synopsis from Goodreads:
In a world before The Program…

Quinlan McKee is a closer. Since the age of seven, Quinn has held the responsibility of providing closure to grieving families with a special skill—she can “become” anyone.

Recommended by grief counselors, Quinn is hired by families to take on the short-term role of a deceased loved one between the ages of fifteen and twenty. She’s not an exact copy, of course, but she wears their clothes and changes her hair, studies them through pictures and videos, and soon, Quinn can act like them, smell like them, and be them for all intents and purposes. But to do her job successfully, she can’t get attached.

Now seventeen, Quinn is deft at recreating herself, sometimes confusing her own past with those of the people she’s portrayed. When she’s given her longest assignment, playing the role of Catalina Barnes, Quinn begins to bond with the deceased girl’s boyfriend. But that’s only the beginning of the complications, especially when Quinn finds out the truth about Catalina’s death. And the epidemic it could start.

Disclaimer: I received an e-ARC of this book from Simon Pulse via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest opinion.

Oh my goodness, how much do I love this series?

I read The Program and The Treatment awhile back and reviewed them here & here. When I heard Suzanne Young was writing prequels to this duology I was majorly excited. I had loved The Program and The Treatment and couldn’t wait to get back into the world.

Then I read the synopsis of this book ans was even more intrigued. The idea behind being a closer like Quinn was, was heartbreaking and soul crushing. Grieving families would hire her to be the person who died and she would help them get closure. I suspected there would be lots of feels in this book. In fact, I had kleenex beside me so I’d be prepared.

But for some reason I didn’t feel the feels. I didn’t cry or even get emotional at all. It took me awhile to even get into the book. I considered DNFing it because I just wasn’t feeling invested in it or the characters. But because it was Suzanne Young and I loved this series, I kept reading and kept hoping that I would fall in love with this book.

A little past the halfway mark, it began to pick up and as it began to pick up, I got more invested in Quinn, Declan, Aaron and the other characters. I’m still not exactly sure what caused the shift. Maybe it was my mood prior to Friday night, I’m not sure. All I know is that in a span of 135 pages, my final rating of this book went up significantly.

Like The Program and The Treatment, this book was very character heavy and I generally love character heavy books. I like knowing what makes them who they are, how they got to where they are and what makes them tick. We got a decent chunk of those questions answered, but I was left with more questions. Usually I’d consider that a negative, but in this case, I was okay with it.

Yes there was a twist at the end of the book and it was a twist that absolutely shocked me. For a minute or two I thought it had broken my brain (nope, not kidding about that) It was a twist I never saw coming so I was excited. I love being shocked by a twist. It makes me happy. I am giving it 4 stars because the ending was awesome and it made me really excited for the next book, The Epidemic.

Review: Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Book Title: Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda
Author: Becky Albertalli
Published Date: April 7th, 2015
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Genre: YA Contemporary LGBT
Book Link: Goodreads
Synopsis from Goodreads:
Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now Simon is actually being blackmailed: if he doesn’t play wingman for class clown Martin, his sexual identity will become everyone’s business. Worse, the privacy of Blue, the pen name of the boy he’s been emailing, will be compromised.

With some messy dynamics emerging in his once tight-knit group of friends, and his email correspondence with Blue growing more flirtatious every day, Simon’s junior year has suddenly gotten all kinds of complicated. Now, change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he’s pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he’s never met.

Disclaimer: I received this e-ARC from Balzer + Bray via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

Oh my god, this book was perfection. It’s been a long time since a book has filled me with such happiness. This book had it all! There was a lot of shippy feels, which made me insanely happy. There was a lot of food talk, which to be honest, made me insanely hungry & most of all, there were a ton of feels.

Did I mention this book was perfect?

I loved Simon’s family. His parents were just so present in his life and in the lives of his older sisters. It was not something I see a lot in YA, so I was thrilled to see it in this book. Usually parents are nonexistent in YA books, and that’s usually one of my issues. Not only were they present in his life, but they were supportive and loving. They may be my new favorite YA parents. His sisters were also totally awesome, supportive and loving. Usually we don’t get to see such a positive relationship between siblings. With this book, we totally got that.

We got some great realistic friendships as well. When you’re a teenager, friendships can be really complicated and most YA books don’t address that. Simon has complicated friendships with Leah, Abby and Nick. He seems closer overall to Abby despite only knowing her for a few months and Leah gets pretty upset about that. Not to mention that when Abby, Nick and Simon go out one night, they intentionally leave Leah out. I felt for Leah because I remembered being left out and no matter what, it’s never a good feeling. Mistakes are made within this friend group.

Simon and Blue may very well be my new favorite YA couple. Oh my god, I fell in love with them as a couple long before we found out Blue’s identity. I did figure out who Blue was about halfway through the book, but I had so much fun reading about them that I didn’t care if I was right about Blue’s identity. The shippy-ness was something I wasn’t totally prepared for. It had been awhile since I had totally shipped anyone this much. The ending was utter perfection and it was awkwardly swoony, which just made it even better.

I am so incredibly in love with this book. Go read it, tell your library about it, tell your friends about it. If you only read one book this year, make sure it’s this one and I’m happily giving this book 5 stars. I cannot wait to get my hands on a finished copy of this book. 

Review: The Replaced (The Taking #2) by Kimberly Derting

Book Title: The Replaced
Author: Kimberly Derting
Published Date: April 28th, 2015
Publisher: HarperTeen
Genre: YA Science Fiction
Series: Book Two in The Taking trilogy
Book Link: Goodreads
Synopsis from Goodreads:
Romantic and action-packed, The Replaced is the gripping second installment in the Taking trilogy.

Kyra hasn’t been the same since she returned from her mysterious five-year disappearance. Now, on the run from the NSA, Kyra is forced to hide out with others who, like her, have been Returned. Yet she is determined to find Tyler, the boy she loves who was also abducted—all because of her. When her group intercepts a message that Tyler might still be alive but is in the hands of a shadowy government organization that experiments on the Returned, Kyra knows it’s a risk to go after him. What if it’s a trap? And worse, what if the returned Tyler isn’t the same boy she lost? 

Perfect for fans of The Fifth Wave and the Body Finder series, The Replaced is both chilling and explosive, with creepy, otherworldly elements and twisty, psychological thrills that will have you questioning what exactly it means to be human.

Disclaimer: I received this e-ARC from HarperTeen via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

Can I just leave this review at “holy crap, it was awesome. Read it!”

No, probably not. Holy moly this book was so freaking awesome. I initially couldn’t remember some of these people and events from The Taking and was kicking myself for not doing a reread of book one, but The Replaced does a good job of reminding us all what happened in The Taking. 

Kyra has now lost her father and the boy she loves. They were both taken right at the end of the Taking and The Replaced picks up not too long afterwords. We end up meeting several new people throughout the course of this book. Some of these people end up being very important and some end up simply being extras.

There were secrets galore in this entire book. Every 20% or so I’d be freaking out and having to put the book down & calm down before I continued reading. There is one character that you start feeling one way about and then later on your feelings on this character change completely. I was never sure how I felt about this character.

There starts to be a love triangle in this one, and honestly, I kinda liked it. I liked the 2nd guy who was involved in this triangle and I kept hoping it would go the way I wanted it to. They seemed like a great match.

I hate being so secretive and vague about this book, but so much of this book was a big giant spoiler that I really can’t talk about, and it’s driving me batty. It was going to take a lot for me to enjoy this book as much as I enjoyed The Taking and actually I think I enjoyed this one MORE than I enjoyed The Taking. I never expected to say that.

Honestly it was the ending that sealed it for me. So shocking, so mind boggling and it left me wondering how I am going to wait for the third and final book in the series. I am giving this book 5 stars, and if you haven’t read these books yet, you need to rectify that immediately.

Review of None of the Above by I. W. Gregorio

Book Title: None of the Above
Author: I. W. Gregorio
Published Date: April 28th, 2015
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Genre: YA Contemporary
Book Link: Goodreads
Pre-Order Links: AmazonBarnes & NobleThe Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads:
Middlesex meets Mean Girls in this one-of-a-kind YA debut.

What if everything you knew about yourself changed in an instant? 

When Kristin Lattimer is voted homecoming queen, it seems like another piece of her ideal life has fallen into place. She’s a champion hurdler with a full scholarship to college and she’s madly in love with her boyfriend. In fact, she’s decided that she’s ready to take things to the next level with him. 

But Kristin’s first time isn’t the perfect moment she’s planned—something is very wrong. A visit to the doctor reveals the truth: Kristin is intersex, which means that though she outwardly looks like a girl, she has male chromosomes, not to mention boy “parts.”

Dealing with her body is difficult enough, but when her diagnosis is leaked to the whole school, Kristin’s world completely unravels. With everything she thought she knew thrown into question, can she come to terms with her new self?

Incredibly compelling and sensitively told, None of the Above is a thought-provoking novel that explores what it means to be a boy, a girl, or something in between.

Disclaimer: I received this e-ARC from Balzer + Bray via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest opinion.

There is definitely a shortage of YA books that deal with this issue, and that really bums me out because I feel like this issue is more common than we know. For the people dealing with this condition, having more books on the subject would be awesome, and it would make these kids feel less alone.
From the beginning, we’re introduced to Kristin who has friends, and a boyfriend she is madly in love with. They haven’t taken the next step, but Kristin is realizing that she is ready for that next step. But nothing goes as planned that night, things are even more painful than she expected them to be. Going to the doctor- her first trip to the gynecologist is tough. She is being raised by a single dad, so that adds another layer of awkwardness to this whole thing.
One of the biggest questions for me at the beginning of the book was how did she not know? And that was answered in different ways, and it made sense to me why she would not know. I do wonder if it would have been found out sooner if her mother had still been alive. I’d like to think it would have been.
After she finds out the truth, she loses everything. Her friends & her boyfriend turn against her, they bully her, they taunt her. That was so heartbreaking, and I could feel Kristin’s heart breaking as she lost every single high school friend that had liked her before this all came out. I was so angry at all these people for just abandoning her when she needed them most.
What I did love a lot, was her relationship with her father. We don’t see much of that in YA, so I was excited to see it in this book. They loved and supported each other through Kristin’s mom’s cervical cancer diagnosis, illness and death. Now that Kristin was dealing with something scary, her father tackled it with the same fervent obsessiveness that he had brought to his late wife’s illness. He was the one person that she knew she could count on.

I did enjoy this book, and it was written well, but I can’t say I loved it. I’m not sure why I didn’t love it, maybe it is the simple fact that, although I loved Kristin as a character I couldn’t really relate to her. I do recommend this book, and I am going to give it 4 stars.

Review: Things We Know by Heart by Jessi Kirby

Book Title: Things We Know By Heart
Author: Jessi Kirby
Published Date: April 21st, 2015
Publisher: HarperTeen
Genre: YA Contemporary
Book Link: Goodreads
Synopsis from Goodreads:
When Quinn Sullivan meets the recipient of her boyfriend’s donated heart, the two form an unexpected connection.

After Quinn loses her boyfriend, Trent, in an accident their junior year, she reaches out to the recipients of his donated organs in hopes of picking up the pieces of her now-unrecognizable life. She hears back from some of them, but the person who received Trent’s heart has remained silent. The essence of a person, she has always believed, is in the heart. If she finds Trent’s, then maybe she can have peace once and for all. 

Risking everything in order to finally lay her memories to rest, Quinn goes outside the system to track down nineteen-year-old Colton Thomas—a guy whose life has been forever changed by this priceless gift. But what starts as an accidental run-in quickly develops into more, sparking an undeniable attraction. She doesn’t want to give in to it—especially since he has no idea how they’re connected—but their time together has made Quinn feel alive again. No matter how hard she’s falling for Colton, each beat of his heart reminds her of all she’s lost…and all that remains at stake.

Disclaimer: I received this e-ARC from HarperTeen via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

This review is likely to be chock full of gibberish because I loved this book. Very rarely does a book hit me this hard, but when it does, I know it’s a special book. 

There are so few books about organ donation, and I am really bummed about that. It’s a cause I believe in completely, and it’s one that I may face at some point in my future. I have a bad heart, have had it since birth and if there’s ever a point that they’ve done all the surgeries, procedures et cetera for me, then I’ll be in Colton’s position. Sick, and desperate for a heart.

I related to Colton better than I have ever related to a male character before, and it’s because of what he’s been through. Even though I haven’t been through the emotional & physical roller coaster of getting a heart transplant, I’ve been through 5 heart surgeries, I’ve been tied to medication since the day I was born. So many times I wanted to just stop taking my medication and just forget that I have a bad heart. Sure it’s great that I haven’t needed a transplant, but being tied to medication really isn’t fun at all. 

I related to Colton, he wanted so much to just move on and not think about the simple fact that someone had to die in order for him to live. That is such a heavy thought, and it’s one I know so well. He also deals with survivors guilt. It wasn’t mentioned in the book, but I knew the feeling and I knew that was part of the reason that he never answered Quinn’s letter. He felt guilt that he was alive while someone else was grieving the boy she loved.
Was Quinn perfect? Of course not, she made mistakes, but I can’t fault her for them. She just wanted to meet the boy who had received Trent’s heart. Should she have followed him? No, that’s stalking, and ordinarily, that would piss me off, but she was grieving and she was not coming from a malicious place at all, just a curious place.

The way things came to light was completely relatable, Colton’s reaction was understandable, I am pretty sure I would have had the same reaction if I were him. I did feel crappy for Quinn though. She had finally allowed her heart to open up to the possibility of falling in love again, and then in an instant, he was gone, possibly forever.

This book was about taking risks and learning to love again. Quinn needed to believe that she could fall in love again, and Colton helped her heart open up to love. It was a slow burn, which I absolutely loved. Colton knew without asking that Quinn had suffered some heartbreak, but he didn’t rush to get the information out of her. He waited patiently until she was ready to tell him the story.

This book was very personal to me and it was very special. Kirby did an amazing job with this subject matter. She clearly took the time to research the topic, which really excited me. I loved this book and it’s getting 5 stars from me.

Review: Denton Little’s Deathdate by Lance Rubin

Book Title: Denton Little’s Deathdate
Author: Lance Rubin
Published Date: April 14th, 2015
Publisher: Random House Children’s
Genre: YA, Science Fiction
Book Link: Goodreads
Synopsis from Goodreads:
Fans of John Green and Matthew Quick: Get ready to die laughing.

Denton Little’s Deathdate takes place in a world exactly like our own except that everyone knows the day they will die. For 17-year-old Denton Little, that’s tomorrow, the day of his senior prom.

Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life, but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle (as the first sex seems to have happened not with his adoring girlfriend, but with his best friend’s hostile sister. Though he’s not totally sure. See: first hangover.) His anxiety builds when he discovers a strange purple rash making its way up his body. Is this what will kill him? And then a strange man shows up at his funeral, claiming to have known Denton’s long-deceased mother, and warning him to beware of suspicious government characters…. Suddenly Denton’s life is filled with mysterious questions and precious little time to find the answers.

Debut author Lance Rubin takes us on a fast, furious, and outrageously funny ride through the last hours of a teenager’s life as he searches for love, meaning, answers, and (just maybe) a way to live on.

Disclaimer: I received this e-ARC from Random House Children’s via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been morbidly curious about death. I gotta say that if I got to find out when I was going to die, I’d be relieved. I mean as of right now, we don’t know when our time will come. So, in that way, I was envious of everyone living in Denton’s world. They all knew when they’d die.
The beginning of the story started off really interesting. We meet Denton the day before his deathday where he will attend his funeral and then the sitting, where everyone basically sits around and waits for the person to keel over.
Quickly, we realize that there’s a lot of drama going on. Apparently Denton had sex the night before, for the first time. That in itself isn’t drama filled, but the fact that it was with his best friend’s sister is. Denton’s been dating the same girl for awhile, but she isn’t the one he had sex with. So there ya go, typical teenage drama right from the start.
Denton is quirky and unique, but as the book goes on, things continue to go from just odd, to absolutely outrageous, and inconceivable. Normally reading books about how shit hits the fan unexpectedly is at least mildly interesting to me. But this time it was just too much and too fast. I barely got over one surprise in the book before another one showed up. 
I liked Denton, his girlfriend and his best friend, they were usually pretty funny, and to be honest, they saved the book for me. The other characters felt very flat to me, which really bummed me out because that tells me the author didn’t flesh them out enough.
The pacing was very uneven. Sometimes things would be going at a decent pace and then shit would hit the fan and it would speed up, only to slow back down a chapter or two later. I wouldn’t say this was a bad book, but I was overall very indifferent to it. So I’m going to give this book 3 stars. I’m not sure I’d recommend this book.

Review: Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke (Prisoner of Night and Fog #2) by Anne Blankman

Book Title: Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke
Author: Anne Blankman
Published Date: April 21st, 2015
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Genre: YA Historical
Series: Book Two in Prisoner of Night and Fog series
Book Link: Goodreads
Synopsis from Goodreads:
The girl known as Gretchen Whitestone has a secret: She used to be part of Adolf Hitler’s inner circle. More than a year after she made an enemy of her old family friend and fled Munich, she lives with a kindly English family, posing as an ordinary German immigrant, and is preparing to graduate from high school. Her love, Daniel Cohen, is a reporter in town. For the first time in her life, Gretchen is content.

But then, Daniel gets a telegram that sends him back to Germany, and Gretchen’s world turns upside-down. And when she receives word that Daniel is wanted for murder, she has to face the danger she thought she’d escaped-and return to her homeland.

Gretchen must do everything she can to avoid capture and recognition, even though saving Daniel will mean consorting with her former friends, the Nazi elite. And as they work to clear Daniel’s name, Gretchen and Daniel discover a deadly conspiracy stretching from the slums of Berlin to the Reichstag itself. Can they dig up the explosive truth and get out in time-or will Hitler discover them first?

Disclaimer: I received this e-ARC from Balzer + Bray via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

I was worried that this book wouldn’t deliver as amazingly as the first one did. I had loved the first book so much and I think I had Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke up on a pedestal. While Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke wasn’t as amazing as its predecessor, I still enjoyed it a lot. Blankman has this ability to weave a tale with gorgeous writing and filled with characters that people will love.

Gretchen and Daniel have been able to live a different life for the past seventeen months. Gretchen has been living with the Whitestone family, and she’s found love, acceptance and kindness with them. They know her story, they know Daniel’s story and they support their relationship.

Everything changes when Daniel is accused of murder. Suddenly Gretchen and Daniel’s quiet life is turned upside down. Now they must find out who actually killed Fraulein Junger and why they framed Daniel for it. Gretchen suspects Hitler and his cronies, but finding out the truth will test her and Daniel’s relationship in ways that neither of them ever expected.

The first half of the book was a bit difficult for me to get into, despite the storytelling and the lush descriptions being so fabulous. I was happy to be back in this fascinating world, but for some reason it took me awhile to fall back in love with this story. By the time the second half of the book began, I was falling back in love with it. The second half seemed much stronger than the first half, and I think it’s because more stuff was going on.

I still absolutely adore Gretchen and Daniel. They were my favorite bookish couple in 2014 and as of right now they are in contention for my favorite bookish couple of 2015 as well. Their strength as a couple improved as did their individual stories. We actually got more of Daniel’s story in this book, which really excited me. In Prisoner of Night and Fog, we didn’t get as much of Daniel’s story as much as I wanted.

I did enjoy this book a lot, but I didn’t love it as much as I loved the first book. I do recommend this boo to anyone who is fascinated by the Hitler era like I am. I am giving this book 4 stars, and I will read anything Blankman writes. She’s got a flair for vivid storytelling and complicated and interesting characters.

Cover Reveal: Black Iris by Leah Raeder

Published by: Atria Books  
384 pages 
 ISBN: 9781476786421
 On sale: April 28, 2015 
 List price: $15.00 
 eBook ISBN: 9781476786438 
 eBook list price: $5.99
Pre- Order Links: AmazonBarnes & NobleBooks-A-MillionIndieBound (US)
AmazoniTunesGoogle (AUS)

It only took one moment of weakness for Laney Keating’s world to fall apart. One stupid gesture for a hopeless crush. Then the rumors began. Slut, they called her. Queer. Psycho. Mentally ill, messed up, so messed up even her own mother decided she wasn’t worth sticking around for.

If Laney could erase that whole year, she would. College is her chance to start with a clean slate.

She’s not looking for new friends, but they find her: charming, handsome Armin, the only guy patient enough to work through her thorny defenses—and fiery, filterless Blythe, the bad girl and partner in crime who has thorns of her own.

But Laney knows nothing good ever lasts. When a ghost from her past resurfaces—the bully who broke her down completely—she decides it’s time to live up to her own legend. And Armin and Blythe are going to help.

Which was the plan all along.

Because the rumors are true. Every single one. And Laney is going to show them just how true.

She’s going to show them all.

April is the cruelest month, T.S. Eliot said, and that’s because it kills. It’s the month with the highest suicide rate. You’d think December, or even January—the holidays and all that forced cheer and agonized smiling pushing fragile people to the edge—but actually it’s spring, when the world wakes from frostbound sleep and something cruel and final stirs inside those of us who are broken. Like Eliot said: mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain. In the deepest throes of depression, when sunlight is anguish and the sky throbs like one big raw migraine and you just want to sleep until you or everything else dies, you’re less likely to commit suicide than someone coming out of a depressive episode. Drug companies know this. That’s why antidepressants have to be marked with the warning MAY CAUSE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
Because what brings you back to life also gives you the means to destroy yourself.
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